Article Extractions and their Hidden Meanings
Posted: Tuesday, December 08, 2009
by Gregory Lewis
PopGnosis
Last night I was listening to a radio debate program, featuring one of the scientists whose email correspondences to fellow climatologists had been pirated, and subsequently applied in a most irresponsible way to "prove" global warming is a hoax. This fellow explained that certain factions, not the least of which was pioneered by that jolly mad man Rush Limbaugh, extracted singular words and phrases completely out of context to validate their own hoax on soft-headed listeners of AM radio.
So, I thought I would find a venue to apply this technique, myself. I "stole" several publically available articles from SearchWarp, and sought to find devious patterns by which I could expose their authors' fraudulent claims and hidden agendas. This is what I came up with. The words are theirs. If you do a search and find, you will see for yourself that all the following examples were really printed somewhere in the respective author's article.
I thought I would use material by authors who I believe don't have a major problem with me, personally, and I would hope you understand this is strictly done in the interest of amusement.
I have to start with my own article, because you know I am the most devious and cunning hoaxster of them all:
Try a Little Harder, by Gregory G. Lewis
"I haven't contributed Don't breathe how best to approach little concern not critical errors difficult challenge mediocrity drivel unfortunates"
Analysis? Whatever you want it to be. What would Rush say? I don't know, but I feel sorry for the listeners who believe him.
BCS Selection Show 2009: My Bowl Picks, Matchups and BCS Bowl Surprises, by Edward Rhymes
"Committee decided stingy defense HornedFrogs confuse putrid squeaker offense."
Analysis? The BCS Committee is up to no good, motivated by some foul desire resembling a biology lab experiment gone bad.
A Place Where I Belong, by Brianna Popsickle
"Moved...Cliques busy arms judged fear crazy tears contagious stumbled"
Analysis? Brianna is obviously suffering from the combined effects of lumbago, dyspepsia and halitosis, which cause her to fear getting too close to people on SearchWarp. Don't let her get ahead of you in line at the Chinese buffet.
The Greatest Problem with the Internet is its Greatest Asset, by Connor Davidson
"Anti thesis anonymity persona pretend extort exploit"
Analysis? Need I go on? Connor is definitely plotting something devious. He practically came out and said he's exploiting us for our collective stupidity. Sure, he's well dressed and sounds scientific. But so was the Unabomber, probably, at least once in his life.
Conclusion
You want me to draw conclusions based on gibberish extracted out of context? Sorry bud, you've mistaken me for some other middle aged fat guy.
This Article has been viewed 1,178 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)In this article, you wrote:"Last night I was ... jolly mad man Rush Limbaugh. ...So, I thought I would.... expose.... my .. Popsickle"Based on this I conclude that you are right in your conclusion :)Please log in to respond to this comment.Oh, Jeez! Did I say that??? LOL!Please log in to respond to this comment.
Chinese buffet.. putrid ....gibberish extracted out of ...middle aged fat.. guy...........dyspepsiaPlease log in to respond to this comment.There, you just "proved" Chinese buffets are either out to kill Americans, or are a fence to get rid of murdered middle aged fat guys!Please log in to respond to this comment.
What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenberg?One's a nazi gas bag and the other's a balloon.Please log in to respond to this comment.Take the number of people who admit to laughing at your jokes, then multiply that by a factor of one hundred to get a realistic estimate.Please log in to respond to this comment.If you agree to be my agent I'll give you 20%!Please log in to respond to this comment.I welcome your comments on my latest article on "Bible Murders"Please log in to respond to this comment.I'm looking forward to reading it Paul.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hi Gregory,This is what I read..."Last night I pirated soft headed simple minded SearchWarp authors who have a problem with me and this was done strictly because I am devious.Great article!MarkPlease log in to respond to this comment.Great subtext, Mark! Fits me to a T.thanks for reading,GregoryPlease log in to respond to this comment.
This was funny and clever. Good way to drive your point home G.Thanks for sharing.Please log in to respond to this comment.Thanks for reading Edward. Hope you don't take me to court over this one.Please log in to respond to this comment.
Hello GregGreat sense of humor, clever mind.BlessingsPlease log in to respond to this comment.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.